Desires, Discernment & Curiosity

As summer comes to a close, obligations for many begin to shift, and you may find yourself curious about what you want this fall. What invitations are available to you and which of those invitations is God leading you to give your finite number of yeses to?

Discerning invitations is the convergence of circumstances, finitude (you have limits), desires, and ordered love. 

Some of your life circumstances are fixed and others are dynamic. Many fall somewhere in between. Perhaps you have family commitments or are in a life season that necessitates specific kinds of priorities. The place, space, and time you find yourself in creates possibilities and limitations as well. 

Finitude closely relates with the limitations and possibilities of circumstance. When we’re present with the reality that we have one life, it helps us to prioritize what truly matters. You may notice your body giving you clues. Your finitude reveals itself in your need for sleep, rest, quality connection, and meaningful work.

Desire is often first discovered in your body's cues. It could feel like gratitude or discontent, sometimes even fear or jealousy. When we notice these emotions stir, we can get curious about what we desire. 

Most of us have experienced the reality that our desires sometimes lead us astray. They are, however, everyone’s starting place. Ordered love is discerned and cultivated as we show up honestly with God and with our communities in discerning and noticing what Luke Burgis in his book Wanting calls our “thick” desires (core and enduring desires). Prayerful reflection and working with a spiritual director or coach can help you discern what invitations there are for you in finding more deeply ordered love. 

Reflection

What is a life circumstance you find yourself in that feels particularly limited and/or ripe with possibility? (Location, relationship, work, community, endeavor, commitment, free time, etc.)

What are the limits you experience within this circumstance? 

When you consider the various limitations of your circumstance, what do you notice in your body? (Tightness, relief, anxiety, confusion, surrender…) There may be different body sensations for different limitations.

What are the possibilities you experience within this circumstance? 

When you consider the possibilities of your circumstances, what do you notice in your body? (Openness, fear, anticipation, exhaustion, hope…) There may be different body sensations for different possibilities.

Ask God what you’re noticing in your body reveals about your desires. 

Are there thick desires underneath the thin ones? (Acceptance under weight loss, validation under success, etc.)

In light of these desires, what is God inviting you to say yes to at this time? Is there anything you’re being invited to say no to?

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